Episode 6 - When Survival Mode Becomes the Norm, Learned Helplessness & Chronic Parental PTSD
Podcast Episode 6: When Survival Mode Becomes the Norm, Learned Helplessness & Chronic Parental PTSD
Download the Free Learning Guide & Workbook Here:
https://www.neurodiversity-u.com/podcast-workbook-optin
Schedule a Consultation Meeting with Dr. Ed Callahan Here:
https://calendly.com/dr-ed-callahan/introduction-consultation-w-dr-ed-callahan-appt-20
Episode 6 - Description:
Are you constantly walking on eggshells at home, unsure whether your teen will explode, shut down, or withdraw? You may be living in survival mode — and so may your child. In this episode, Dr. Ed Callahan (founder of Neurodiversity University) and guest Amy J. explore how the fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses impact both neurodivergent teens and their parents. They share real stories, practical strategies, and powerful insights to help you break the cycle of stress and move toward calm, connection, and confidence.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- The difference between the “upstairs brain” (creative, problem-solving) and the “downstairs brain” (survival-focused).
- How fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses show up in both teens and parents.
- Why survival mode is contagious — and what to do about it. -How “little lies” or meltdowns often reflect overwhelm, not defiance.
- Practical ways to pause, regulate, and respond instead of react.
- How to begin breaking the cycle of learned helplessness and chronic stress.
I am Dr. Ed Callahan, and I help parents of Neurodivergent teens & young adults guide their child into a successful, independent, and thriving adulthood with less conflict, distress, and resistance.
Join me for deep dive discussions of practical ideas and strategies for effectively parenting Neurodivergent teens and young adults, including: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Nonverbal Learning Disorder (NLD), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), and other learning disabilities like Dyslexia, Dysgraphia, and Dyspraxia.
Services: I work with families personally to help them with their neurodivergent teen or young adult to mitigate their challenges and distress and maximize their opportunities and independence. If you would like to find the peace and reduce the pain, schedule a time so I can help guide you to go from chaos to confidence, use this link to book a call with me:
https://calendly.com/dr-ed-callahan/introduction-consultation-w-dr-ed-callahan-appt-20
Time Stamps:
00:00 - Welcome & Why This Works for ND Families
00:10 - Meet Amy J.: A Parent’s Perspective
02:32 - Survival Mode Becomes the Norm
03:40 - From Chaos to Calm: The Goal
04:15 - Fight–Flight–Freeze–Fawn (The 4F’s) Explained
07:29 - Upstairs vs Downstairs Brain (How Regulation Works)
08:19 - The 4F’s in Teens: What It Looks Like
09:23 - The 4F’s in Parents: Boundaries, Enabling & Fawning
12:34 - “Lies” or Fawning? Reframing to Build Trust
13:23 - You Can’t Control Them—You Can Control You
14:50 - Emotional Contagion: Don’t Catch the Fire
16:14 - Common Parent Pitfalls (Real-Life Examples)
18:18 - The Long Game: Repair, Trust & Connection
21:00 - Biology of Survival Mode: Tunnel Vision & Panic
22:03 - Prefrontal Cortex Maturation & Screens
25:04 - Quick Regulation Tools: Breathing, Walks, Time-Outs
28:33 - Feeling “Right” in Survival Mode (And Catching It Early)
31:01 - Model Regulation: Teaching by Example
33:42 - Upgrading Old Parenting “Software”
36:07 - Escape the “Developmental Derby” (Stop Comparing)
39:52 - Rethinking Boundaries Without Shame
42:20 - When Parents Live in Survival Mode (C-PTSD)
45:40 - Learned Helplessness in Parents & Teens
49:00 - Breaking the Cycle: New Collaborative Model
52:02 - About Neurodiversity University (Apply It to Your Family)
54:20 - What to Do Next: Guide, Coaching & Community
55:52 - Educational Disclaimer (Not Therapy)
Other Helpful Links:
Email: [email protected]
YouTube: @EdCallahanPh.D
Free Training at: www.Neurodiversity-U.com
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